I'd been planning to write a blog post to catch up on the end of our summer, but every time I sat down to write it I couldn't gather my thoughts. We had fun these last few weeks of Summer. We checked some things off of our summer list, like going down to the Eno River to splash and picnic one day, and going to a Durham Bulls baseball game. I just couldn't recall those events enough to really write about them. I can recall my general mood in August. I can recall feeling hot and bored at times with those things we'd been doing all. summer. long. I can recall feeling anxious that both of the kids were getting ready to start at a new preschool...Joe for his first time. I can recall feeling excited for Fall.
It's funny how a whole month passed and I am having trouble conjuring up concrete memories. But, so many of us can recall in great detail the morning of Sept 11, 2001. I was 24 and engaged to Mark. We lived in an apartment together. I was a newish engineer in my first job out of graduate school. My boss came down the hall and knocked on my door mid-morning and told me an airplane had hit one of the twin towers. I was shocked, but admittedly unsure how to react. Do I get up and gather with everyone else or do I sit here and keep working? What exactly is going on? I couldn't comprehend. I can remember very clearly the expression on his face, one of fear and horror. He walked away but to turn around seconds later and say something like "you should get up and come in here to see this with the rest of us". And, so, we all huddled around a small static filled TV watching it all unfold. Some of my colleagues discussed whether the towers would collapse and the thought of it made my stomach turn. That night I found myself alone in our apartment, as Mark was in class. I sat on the couch and watched and wept. I recall a flood of emotions...disbelief, overwhelming sympathy for those lost, fear and admiration for the heros. I also remember thinking a lot about what the future would be like. How would it change us? How would it shape the fate of our unborn children?
And here we are ten years later. So much has changed. Our lives are bigger and greater in ways that I never could've imagined! I think I will always be able to recall that day in great detail and I will always mourn for those who lost and are still suffering. But now I know, without a doubt, that there is SO much good in this world!